
I didn’t know I was supposed to swing on the pearly gates - who knew that the hinges were merely decorative? If I promise not to do it again, can I have my have my halo back, Ranger82?

It’s important to wear the right clothing when hiking, derPlau. Make sure you wear a comfortable shoes, and avoid tight fitting clothes that could chafe.

Oh Push Pop, where have you gone?
Your sweet, sticky nectar so good on my tongue.
Our love seemed everlasting,
just a push of the stick and there you were again,
always by my side, ready to please.
But now you are gone, never to return.
Our love has left you a cold cardboard shell.
A tasteless ghost of your former self,
and I am only left with the memories of our love.
My memories of our love will never fade,
just like the stains on my shirt.
Will I ever know love again, KRISnFRED? Oh, what’s a Drumstick?

The doggie and I want to make pancakes for The Family! No? Why am I not allowed in the kitchen alone - are you still nagging me about the cell phone flushing incident? Come on, that was like two weeks ago! You’d flush your phone too if all you got were telemarketers and political surveys! Now seriously, how about if we make waffles instead, or some french toast?

(here is the cell phone in the bottom of the toilet that had to be removed to extract it. The whole story is well worth the read! It will make you feel better about your Monday)

Dude, don’t talk trash. Mom might hear you, and then you’ll be grounded forever. Where’d you learn language like that anyways, from Aunt Metz?

Darling, you’ve just got to try this new facial! It’s totally reduced my crows’ feet and rejuvenated my hands. I think I’ve found the fountain of youth, amyemaxey.

It’s Attack of the Zombie Toddlers, run for your life! You say she’s not a zombie, ShadoWalker Photography? Is she on a Zombie walk? Perhaps it’s just an ice cream cone gone terribly wrong? I’m still keeping an eye on my brains while she’s around.