Baby: I don’t want to get up yet, it’s stupid-o’clock in the morning!

Mom: But it’s the first day of school, baby!

Baby: I don’t wanna go to school.

Mom: What do you want to do with you life, baby?

Baby: I wanna ROCK!

Just say no, Baby!

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You’re going to put the thermometer where, Dr. Corneilus?

A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.  Watch out for gophers,  House Of Sims!

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Simply amazing!

Hey Mom, all we need now is a cute black puppy and I can be the next Coppertone kid!

Huggies just introduced diaper jeans, the biggest innovation in denim technology since Chuck Norris did the first roundhouse kick in Action Jeans!!!

And they’re boot cut!

Is it just me or does the water suddenly seem warmer, Naviii?

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If you’re going to dance with Lady Gaga on American Idol baby, you’re going to need some better threads – something like this guy:

At 19 pounds, you’d better watch out Dr. David Banner – you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry!